How to Involve your Fiancee While Planning a Wedding

Perhaps the thought of involving your fiancée in the wedding plans makes you burst out with, “If it were up to them, we’d get married at the courthouse and the reception would be at the Taco Bell drive thru.”

Or, “I asked him if he was ok with a $2,000 flower budget, and rather than answer, he fainted. I’m still not sure if he was faking.”

The fact of the matter is, besides the priest or officiator, there’s someone else who will be standing up there with you at the altar. Someone really important. Someone who needs to be there in order to make this whole day possible. So, it makes sense then, to involve them at least somewhat in the process.

Not sure how? Keep reading. We’ve got a few ideas, some of which may even make your life a little easier.

Share Your Vision

After you get engaged, you may find yourself using all your free time wedding planning. You’ve had this vision of what you want forever, and now’s your chance! You finally get the opportunity to execute your dream wedding!

But… insert record scratching sound effect… your partner has different ideas.

It is crucial, crucial! That you discuss your vision – and hear theirs – before you start planning. Make sure you are clear on:

  • Budget
  • Total guests
  • Location
  • Indoor or Outdoor
  • Aesthetic

A failure to appropriately communicate at the onset of planning may result in you doing a ton of work, and then finding out they don’t like something, or that you’ve gone over budget. Now, not only do you have to cancel, you also have to start the process over.


If your fiancée isn’t too concerned with the overall logistics involved in planning a wedding, they may still have an opinion about some of the aspects, such as budged, venue, who officiates, food and alcohol, etc.

Make a list that includes all the main components of a wedding, and share it with your partner. For the parts you’re in agreement on, or they like your vision, great! No need to worry about that further.

If there are areas where the two of you have different opinions, make note of them.

These can be solved through compromise – the two of you can come up with something that you both like. Truly Engaging has some tips for how best to compromise when wedding planning.

Or, you let them choose one they feel is important to them, they let you do the same.

Wedding planning is a marvelous way to practice some of the skills that will later see you through your marriage.

Relinquish Control

Hand the reins over to your fiancée for a portion of the planning.

If they’re really into music, stellar! They can be in control of finding the ideal DJ or band.

If there’s anything else that your fiancée is more excited about than you, let them be in charge of it.

You can always ask that they run it by you first, before making any big decisions.

Even if they may not seem too excited about wedding planning. Get them involved by putting them in charge of organizing something they enjoy, or have them include and incorporate their passion, if appropriate. It helps you out by relieving you of some of the duties, and gets them more excited and invested.  

Present Them with Your Faves

If you’re struggling to decide, wondering, “which one do I choose?” show your partner the different options.

Most people are visual learners, and it’s easier to show them than try to explain.

For example, if you were to say, “I’d love to have my bridesmaids wear a burnt orange dress,” most people would cock their head, probably picturing a pumpkin, or maple leaves in the fall.

However, take them to the Bella Bridesmaids site, and show them the gorgeous selection of burnt orange bridesmaid dresses. Complete with styling and complimentary color ideas. Show them that, and you’re likely to get a much different – overwhelmingly positive – reaction.

Use their input to help arrive at the final decision. It’s a bonus: they’re involved, and you’re spared from hemming and hawing over something, and can move on to the next task on your list.


Traditionally, wedding planning has very much been left up to the bride. The more you share with them, the more it will feel like it’s both of yours.

Which it is.

A chance for the two of you to come together, and celebrate your love with everyone who’s important in your life.