5 Ways to Train Oneself to Develop Self-growth and Avoid Validation from Others

Since childhood, it’s a natural phenomenon for a kid to seek recognition, especially from his or her parents after achieving something extraordinary. This has been our constant source of validation and we think that receiving all those praises would help build our confidence. It’s some sort of a reassurance that what you do is right because that’s what others think.

Yes, it’s not all bad and we need some sort of guarantee that the actions we do should be recognized by others. No one is excluded in this narrative but you can’t continue to keep relying on others for validation, especially in defining your self-worth. Trying to please others will tire you out eventually and one day, you’ll be consumed by the idea of endlessly seeking validation from people who have no idea of the sacrifices and efforts you’ve done to reach that point.

Don’t see validation online or on the internet

This is a common form of validation-seeking endeavor wherein social media platforms have become the avenue for many in demanding recognition or appreciation from anyone they interact with online. The validation is expressed through the number of responses or likes, shares, and comments. The fame stems from those factors and once you’ve achieved it, you’re immediately considered to be validated by many.

Unfortunately, this can take a toll on your mental health. You shouldn’t base your worth as a person if your latest posts didn’t get enough of the interactions you’ve initially expected them to have. The Internet is a combination of excitement and fear because of the many contents it offers to its users which pretty much explains why it affects our mindset most of the time. You become conscious of many things such as outfits, food, places, and other activities that shape an individual’s perception of themselves. But being too delved into such matters will only keep you from finding the true self that sets you apart from many people.

Engage in a social media detox

The pressure that comes with the heavy involvement of oneself in social media is having to be updated with lots of things so that you don’t get left behind with the latest trends and news. You feel like you need to know everything about a certain celebrity or purchase the products that they use in order to receive the same results. But all these things will affect our mental stability since we’re used to knowing everything about anyone or anything. 

Entering a social media detox will help you regain the mindset of not having to be updated about anything and revert to the perception that you have your own life to live so you have to focus all the energy on yourself only. You get to spend your own time and efforts developing your growth.

Practice giving yourself words of affirmation or encouragement

In this world that highly dictates which things are well-recognized or appreciated, it’s quite difficult convincing yourself that you’re good enough. The endless need of proving yourself to society is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining. However, you have to accept the fact that there’s no one else that would constantly build your confidence up but you alone. Start your day by looking in the mirror and reciting encouraging words to yourself. Celebrate even your smallest wins in life because they’re worth rejoicing. Making this a routine will take time but it’s all worth it.

Prioritizing your needs first before anything else

Train yourself not to depend on other people for validation, instead, question yourself whether it’s worth asking for their praise. It’s not entirely bad to hear words from them but it’s also important to not let them get to you. If you think it might harm your mindset, you’ll need to be prepared not to be affected by it and just concentrate on your needs because of all the things that you should be prioritizing, it’s yourself.

Boosting a perception of self-growth

We’re always told to be determined and persevering, to not give up easily. But let’s be honest, there are times that it’s easier said than done. We also cannot ignore the fact that there will be circumstances in life that giving up is the appropriate decision to make. However, we can always keep trying once we build a mindset of growth. This is a mindset that even amid several failures, there’s always an opportunity to grow and improve.

What hinders us from achieving this kind of mindset is the fear of failure, the fear of disappointing the people around us who believed that we can do it. We thirst for their approval to the point that we’re willing to sacrifice things. Above everything else, what did we gain from seeking their recognition? Were we able to improve as a person? These are the questions we should ask ourselves as soon as we attempt to approach others for their thoughts on us.

Final thoughts

Although validation isn’t entirely a negative thing, asking too much of it from others would affect our perception of ourselves. It’s not wise to be spending all of your energy entertaining the demands of others just to satisfy their expectations of you. To start with building self-growth, there are resources on mindfulness meditation available anywhere on the Internet to guide you. We are with you in your journey towards finding your true self and appreciating every aspect of it.