Few experiences are more exciting than meeting a new potential sugar baby and experiencing that unmistakable struck-by-lightning feeling. At first glance, she appears to be everything you’ve been looking for – beautiful, funny, intelligent, and kind. But while first impressions are definitely important, you don’t want to over-rely on them.

Asking the right questions can go a really long way toward closing that knowledge gap and getting a potential partner to show you a bit more of her personality, the better to help you determine whether she’s a compatible fit for a deeper relationship. Here are a few great examples to start with.

  1. “What are your life goals?”

Sometimes big differences between partners can complement one another and make a relationship better than it would have been otherwise, but this isn’t really the case when it comes to long-term life goals. Two people in a relationship eventually wind up merging their lives, so it’s crucial to make sure you both want the same things. 

Is she looking to settle down right away, or is that not part of the plan for a while (if ever)? Is she pursuing a demanding career that will likely take her in a particular direction someday? Does she want a family, or is she happily child-free? Make sure the ideal picture your dream girl has of her future life is at least compatible with yours, if not exactly the same.

  1. “What are your friends and family like?”

“You are who you hang with” may not be 100 percent true across the board, but you can still usually tell a lot about someone by the type of people who populate their inner circle. Goal-oriented, social, nurturing individuals tend to be drawn to other people who are like them.

You can also tell a lot about a new sugar baby by how she speaks of people like close relatives. Is she close with her siblings, parents, and extended family? If she’s not, what are the reasons why? Granted, many great people come from dysfunctional or toxic family situations, and that shouldn’t be held against them. But it’s still important to know upfront what you’re getting into.

  1. “What were you like as a child?”

People are often the rawest, most genuine versions of themselves when they’re children. Over time, they’ll naturally develop certain aspects of their personality more while learning to downplay others. However, you can still get an excellent read on the core of who someone is by listening to them speak of their childhood.

Was your would-be sugar baby shy or outgoing? Did she have lots of friends, or was she more of a loner? Was she a daddy’s girl or besties with her sisters? Did she know what she wanted to be when she grew up, or did it take her a while to figure things out? What types of activities was she into?  

  1. “What’s your biggest deal-breaker in a relationship?”

All people have crucial values and principles that they won’t compromise on for any reason, and that’s as it should be. However, if you’re thinking of sugar dating someone, in particular, it’s an excellent idea to find out what those deal-breakers might be. You can tell a lot about someone by the type of behavior they absolutely will not put up with from people under any circumstances. 

Asking about this isn’t necessarily all about figuring out how far you can push someone’s boundaries before they put their foot down, though. It’s about finding out what’s really important to this person as far as morals, as well as learning more about what type of relationship she’s ultimately looking for.

  1. “Do you have any regrets in life?”

This is a question you probably don’t want to launch right into if you don’t already know someone well, but it’s a good one to pull out of your hat if the right moment ever presents itself. For example, it can tell you to what extent someone holds onto the past. 

So does this particular sugar baby hold onto the past, or does she always keep her eyes on the future? What types of things does she regret, if she indeed has regrets? And if she doesn’t have any, what’s her take on why not? Most people do tend to have things they’d do differently if they had a second chance, but a forward-thinking mindset is critical.

Ultimately, a decision to date someone or not depends on many factors, and it will always require a leap of faith to at least some extent. But the more you can find out about someone you’d like to make your next sugar partner, the better. After all, great relationships are all about compatibility at their core.